Thursday, December 2, 2010

Advent First Thursday 12/2

For God alone my soul waits in silence,
for my hope is from him.
 He alone is my rock and my salvation,
my fortress; I shall not be shaken.
 On God rests my deliverance and my honor;
my mighty rock, my refuge is in God.
Trust in him at all times, O people;
pour out your heart before him;
God is a refuge for us.

Psalm 62:5-8

I'm having a rough day today.  I found out that my younger brother wishes and plans to join the military and wants to be in basic training by spring.  This is a complete shock to me and I can't help but worry.  I'm sad, I'm frustrated, and I don't want him to do this.  I spent most of the day pondering his decision, the decision to leave, to risk his life, to take a chance that he might have to take the life of another human being, and what for?  
I'm still frustrated and upset, but I'm going to be supportive.   My brother is someone I care about deeply.  Our relationship has grown since I've moved away to college and I respect his decision making...I don't like it one bit, mostly because he's my baby brother, but I love him and I will support him.  

So with my frustration I turn to today's lectionary.  I know that in all things I will be praying for my brother from the day he signs papers until the day he retires.  I know that God hears my prayers, God hears my cries, and God is still God.  My hope is in God.  My hope for peace, my hope for safety, my hope for life, all lie in God.

I've always kind of chuckled when I come to that line "I will not be shaken."  Mostly because on days like today I feel like the world has been shaken, but then I remember that my faith is not shaken, my hope and my trust are always in God, my roots are firm in Christ and nothing on this earth will shake that.

My refuge is in God. In realizing that today was a struggle, and that this week has been long and rough, I look forward to Saturday because it is my Sabbath.  It is the time where I stop and rest, it is when I take refuge where no one can get to me, I go to God and stay there.  I look forward to Sabbath this weekend more than ever because my body, my mind, my soul, they need it.  

Trust in him at all times, O people;
pour out your heart before him;
  God is a refuge for us.

Pour out your heart before God...I think I've done that a couple of times today and I'm trusting in God, that my brother is doing what he should be doing, that he is thinking clearly, and that he remains safe.  God is my refuge and I am thankful for that.  

During this Advent season while I am waiting for Christmas, while I am anticipating the birth of my Savior...I will be thinking about my brother.  I will be thinking about his future and I will be doing my best to be supportive of him by being there for him, praying for him, and loving him.  Cherishing each moment we have together in the here and now and looking forward to his future with him (and throwing in a few prayers for world peace of course).

Peace be within you,

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